Habits are not just something you do every day. 

While it’s true that habits are repeated behavior, regularly doing something is not enough to be considered a habit. 

The psychology of habits explains that habits are the specific actions one automatically does in particular situations. Moreover, it should: 

• occur repeatedly
• be triggered by a particular cue
• occur with little to no conscious thought

Why build habits?

Habits determine your children’s trajectory in life. Helping your children develop habits from a young age is an excellent place to start. 

While setting goals is essential, their habits set what they do and who they become. Plans allow them to envision what they want but do not necessarily equip them with the necessary tools to arrive there. 

On the other hand, habits allow the compounding of small, repeated actions that will eventually yield significant changes. 

How do habits work?

A recent study suggests that a three-part neurological loop exists at the core of every habit: cue-routine-reward.

A cue can be any trigger that causes the routine — location, emotional state, or thought.  

Routine can be any physical or mental action triggered by the cue.

The reward is the positive reinforcement that continues to drive the habit pattern. 

Where do you start?

There isn’t one formula for changing and building habits. Different triggers drive each person’s habits, so the specifics of diagnosing and changing them differ from person to person. With time, patience, and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped. 

Here are five simple tips that you can teach your kids in creating new habits: 

Establish and commit to the why

A habit is an action done repeatedly with little or no thought. Unlike routines, which are uncomfortable and require the active application of effort, habits are part of our daily life. 

In creating new habits, they must first establish them as a routine. From there, the amount of time your children would take to develop it into a habit varies. It may take them 21 days, or 66, or even more.   

It is crucial to recognize your children’s why in this process because it won’t get formed independently. Helping them establish, commit, and stay consistent with their why and how this habit is essential to them enables them to stay on track and motivated. 

Think big, work small.

Thinking big allows them to anticipate growth. However, a grand vision does not necessarily entail grand actions. Starting small can be their first step. 

Starting and working small entails less energy, making the task more manageable. It allows them to build their momentum incrementally. Habits are not formed overnight but are products of gradual change. The more they do it, the better they’ll be able to become at doing it.

 Keep it sustainable.

Don’t let them bite off more than they can chew. Guide them in sticking with realistic goals. Unreasonable goals, when unachieved, may leave them disheartened and unmotivated. 

Habit formation is a time-taking process. Allow them to give themselves time to get used to it. More than discipline, it takes patience to stick to a routine and ultimately to a habit. 

Charles Duhigg, the author of The Power of Habit, once said, “The key to victory is creating the right routines.”

Allow them to commit to easily adaptable routines. That way, they can practice the habit more and incorporate it into their daily life. 

 Get ready to fail.

Habits require a lot of repetition. In creating a habit, it is essential to keep practicing and give themselves grace for failing. 

When one develops habits, expect that it won’t be easy. They may have to face a lot of failures before successfully turning the practice into a habit. 

Acknowledge that failures are part of the process, and slipping off the tracks is normal. Let them know that these failures should not hinder them from bouncing back. 

Allow them to make mistakes from time to time but make sure that they carry on. 

 Leverage on small feats.

Wins create momentum. By focusing on daily successes, one tends to get inspired and do better. 

As James Clear, author of the award-winning Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, wrote, “We all want better lives for our future selves. However, when the moment of decision arrives, instant gratification usually wins.”

Small wins make us feel good, especially when we’re stressed or discouraged. Use this experience to fuel them in pursuing their goal. 

Celebrate these small victories and practice a reward system. It doesn’t need to be something grand. It could be cooking the food they’ve been craving or letting them watch that movie they’ve been putting off. 

To summarize, goals help your children visualize where they want to go, but they’re not very good at helping them get there. Instead, building habits is the key to achieving their goals. If you want your kids to build a habit, let them start small and stick with it. Reward them or let them reward themselves on small wins and allow them to fail once in a while but guide them to bounce back stronger.